The liberal world is divided about the efficacy and fairness of standardized testing.  But a valid standardized test with a single question will be on the Maine ballot in November – one that will accurately measure the gullibility of those who answer it.  Will you vote to return Susan Collins to the United States Senate for a fifth term?

Shaker Quilt

On February 4, the day before the Senate voted on the two articles of impeachment adopted by the House of Representatives against Donald John Trump, Senator Collins observed: “I believe that the president has learned from this case . . . the president has been impeached.   That’s a pretty big lesson . . . I believe he will be much more cautious in the future.”  Within minutes Trump dismissed Collins disingenuous musing and chanted his mantra to a lunchroom filled with news anchors “It was a perfect call.”  Trump it seems is not a Shaker.[1]

The next day, February 5, with full knowledge of Trump’s taunt and in response to all he has put the nation through, Collins voted twice for Trump’s acquittal.

Donald Trump & Susan Collins

Susan Collins has become a national joke and spectacle, at least outside of Maine.  For a long time the joke was on liberals, as we serially held out hope that Collins’ purported moderation would compel votes against extreme partisan causes, such as confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court.  And Collins voted to confirm Kavanaugh after he taunted and virtually spit at Senate Sister Klobuchar as she tried to question him during the Senate’s hearings into his nomination. Brett’s was a performance unparalleled in SCOTUS confirmation hearings history and led to a similarly unparalleled public opposition to Senate confirmation from a former Justice, John Paul Stevens.

Collins’ vote to confirm Kavanaugh after all that was her signature surrender to Trump’s will and that of a Republican party that bears little, if any, resemblance to the one that chose her as its candidate for the Senate in 1995.

Serge Kovaleski

There was absolutely no surprise outside Maine in how Collins folded this week.  Her dishonest and abject capitulation was previewed on the January 25, 2020 Saturday Night Live episode.  By now, all that about Collins is known and regularly parodied.  But the Woolly Mammoth in the Trump/Collins room, where even SNL won’t go is Collins’ Spasmodic Dysphonia.  Because of that condition, the senator’s voice goes into periods of spasm, breaks and interruptions.  This condition, that she has not merely overcome but turned into an advantage, produces a compelling speech pattern not dissimilar from that of Serge Kovaleski.  He is the Pulitzer Prize winning New York Times reporter who Trump mocked at a campaign rally in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina on November 24, 2015.  Susan Collins is not merely a hypocrite and faker but a traitor to people like her who battle and overcome disabilities.

All that will be on Maine ballots the first Tuesday after a Monday this November.  It won’t be a test of Susan Collins.  She has passed Trump’s tests and failed the tests administered by her state and nation many times.  Come November, the conscience and intelligence of Pine Tree State voters will be tested.

[1]  The Shakers intentionally wove a tiny error into their otherwise seemingly perfect quilts to express their certitude that only God was perfect.  They also were celibate.